


What I want

by Doublepasse



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: F/F, like directly after the last catradora scene, post-season 3, this ship will kill me in the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-30 07:03:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20093245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doublepasse/pseuds/Doublepasse
Summary: Catra is running away from the sanctum with Hordak. She remembers everything from the alternate reality created by the portal. Adora's glare won't leave her mind in peace. Catra doesn't understand.It's not her fault.





	What I want

Catra was running.

But the pain was still following her.

That ache in her left jaw pulsated as she remembered that glare.

It was printed on her retina.

And the pain in her chest was hurling, biting at her heart.

It could have been different.

It was not her fault.

Adora made the choice, not her.

Adora could have stayed…

"_Why can't you see that?"_

Oh, she could. She could see the abnormalities of their distorted world. Adora had never given her enough credit.

In her mind she was still over there, even if she was running in the _real_ world. In her mind, she was happy with Adora. She had finally everything she wanted. It was perfect.

"_You're just seeing things."_

Lying was easy. Lying was her only armor, but also her weapon. Her weapon against Adora's nature.

"_There's something I'm supposed to fix."_

There's always been something to fix. Something to fight. Something bigger than Adora. Something bigger than _Catra_. Why was Catra never enough?

"_This is what we always wanted! Everything will be perfect as long as we stay together."_

Rule with her. Call the big shots with her. Prove her worth with her. Say fuck to this unfair and cruel world with her. That's what Catra had hold onto to survive in the Horde. Adora took it away from her.

"_What if we don't stay together? What if it all goes wrong?"_

"_Stay with me, okay?"_

It was a simple solution. Why couldn't Adora see it? Why did she have to do it all over again? Why did she want to leave Catra?

"_I won't leave you behind again."_

Oh, but she wanted it. She wanted to go back to this world. This world where she left her for her greater cause. This world where she told Catra she _had_ to embrace the cause. She had to follow Adora. She had to forget about her own dreams.

"_Help me fix this, please!"_

Adora chose again. She chose the world over Catra. She chose the mission over their happiness together. She had the audacity to think Catra would settle for being second best in Adora's heart.

"_This can't be what you wanted!"_

Adora never understood what Catra wanted. She lied when she made that promise all those years ago. She made Catra believe she was the most important thing for her. And Catra believed her. Even when she noticed how obsessed Adora was with fixing the world for the Horde, how determined she was to become a Force Captain, Catra wouldn't stop believing. Ruling together was the endgame. Adora was only making sure it would happen.

"_Don't you get it? I'm never going to go with you!"_

Such lies. Adora had chosen. Even when she was given another chance to choose Catra, she still chose her friends. Her other reality. Her power as She-Ra.

Catra shook her head, tears tickling her eyes. This was all Adora's fault. She made her choice.

Then why did she look at her with such hatred? Why was she suddenly so cold? Catra was the one supposed to hate her. She was the one who was treated poorly. She was the one who was denied happiness once again.

"_We could, you know… Be happy."_

Scorpia's face popped in her mind. That giant scorpion lady who cared so much… She gave her what Catra wished Adora had granted her. She stuck by her side, and only wanted her happy. She didn't care about the grand scheme of the planet.

Too bad that wasn't what Catra wanted in the end.

Where was she? Why wasn't Scorpia running with her?

Uneasiness spread in her chest when she recalled the last time they were together. Getting rid of Entrapta in front of Scorpia, and mostly threatening her wasn't her best move…

But Entrapta was opposing her. She had to do it.

Scorpia would come around. She said she'll always be there for her. She always stuck by her side.

Scorpia appeared from a corridor next to Hordak's sanctum. Catra looked at her hopeful, but her ears drooped when she saw something she'd never seen in Scorpia's eyes before. Pain.

Scorpia averted her gaze, following Hordak in silence.

Scorpia couldn't be leaving her. Catra refused to believe it. If she left, there would be nothing standing between Catra and those glaring blue eyes… There would be nobody to acknowledge it wasn't Catra's fault…

It _wasn't_ her fault!

Those damn blue eyes got to stop glaring at her!

Catra swallowed her sobs as she saw in her mind what could have been. As she saw what she wanted.

"_Why can't you just stay?"_

"_Okay, Catra. I'll stay."_

_Her ears perk up on her head. "Really? We'll stay together?" _

_She can see her smile widen, her blue eyes shining brighter than the end of the world. She takes Catra's hands, holding them tight. The ground is collapsing around them. Trees are fading in a thousand sparkles. But Catra can only see Adora's face looking at her with love. Adora's face that is already starting to fade along her body. Just like Catra’s._

_Adora leans in. Adora kisses her on the lips. _

_Adora chooses her. _

"_I promise."_

**Author's Note:**

> Catra baby, you need to pull your shit together. :'(( 
> 
> Goddamnit, this season was too good.


End file.
